“I signed up for an app because it felt like the only realistic way to meet people as a working single mom.”
Jules, a healthcare professional in her 40s, turned to online dating while balancing work, school, and raising her child after the pandemic. Then she met “Andy.”
He seemed like a great guy. He knew her area and even shared pictures of himself at restaurants, wineries, and neighborhood spots Jules recognized. Their early conversations felt ordinary and he seemed invested in her life and well-being.
“He didn’t ask for money right away; he built trust first,” she said. “So when the investment came up, it didn’t feel risky. It felt like help.”
Andy claimed he was successful in cryptocurrency and said he could show her how to pay down debt, get ahead financially, and finally have some breathing room. Jules decided, cautiously, to try it. And because the accounts appeared to show gains, and she was even able to withdraw small amounts of money, Jules believed the opportunity was real.
But the crypto app wasn’t real. And neither was Andy.
One day, weeks later, the account was suddenly frozen. A message popped up saying the only way to access her funds would be through a $25,000 “tax payment”. She paid the “tax,” worried about losing her investments. But the account immediately froze again, this time facing the claim of money laundering.
That’s when she realized something wasn’t right. And Andy suddenly disappeared.
By the time Jules realized it was a scam, she had lost more than $80,000. Jules said $25,000 of that was borrowed from her elderly mother.
“The financial loss was devastating, but the emotional toll was worse. I felt ashamed and completely alone.”
New research: Romance scams climb ahead of Valentine’s Day
Jules isn’t alone. Unfortunately, this type of long-con romance scam is increasingly common. And AI-powered tools are only helping scammers increase their attack volume.
According to McAfee’s 2026 Valentine’s Day research, 1 in 7 American adults (15%) say they have lost money to an online dating or romance scam.
The cost of losses varied widely between age groups. American adults between ages 35 to 44 were among the most likely to report higher losses, over $5,000, while younger Gen Z victims reported smaller losses under $500.
Of the people who’ve lost money to an online dating scam, just 1 in 4 (24%) were able to recover all their money.
Exposure is widespread even when money is not lost. More than half of Americans say they have been asked to send money or share financial information by a potential romantic partner, often through payment apps, wire transfers, gift cards, QR codes, or cryptocurrency.
McAfee Labs data reinforces what consumers are experiencing. During the peak dating season leading into Valentine’s Day, Labs blocked hundreds of thousands of romance-related malicious URLs and observed surging activity tied to fake profiles, cloned dating apps, and AI-driven chat behavior. In fact, Labs reported significant AI chat bot spam, with some users receiving more than 60 messages in 12 hours, even without a profile photo.
At the same time, fewer scams relied on obvious malicious links, suggesting scammers are shifting toward persuasion and relationship-building instead.
The research at a glance: Fast facts
- 47% of American adults have used an online platform to meet a romantic partner
- 35% have encountered fake profiles or AI-generated images while dating online
- 1 in 4 say they discovered they were interacting with a fake profile or AI bot
- 22% say they have been a victim of catfishing
- 53% have been asked to send money or financial info by a romantic interest
- Payment apps are the most common path for money requests, especially among adults under 35
- 32% believe it is possible to develop romantic feelings toward an AI bot
- 9% say they have personally experienced romantic feelings for an AI chatbot
- Men are significantly more likely than women to encounter romance scams weekly
- Nearly everyone who experienced a romance scam says it had a lasting emotional impact
How romance scams typically unfold
While scams can take many forms, most follow a familiar pattern. Understanding the progression can help people recognize risk earlier.
| Stage | The Red Flags / How it Unfolds | What the scammer wants | What to do instead |
| 1) The hook | A friendly DM, a “wrong number” text, a dating match, a comment reply, a follow request | A response. Any response. | Don’t move fast. Keep the convo on-platform. Don’t give out your number. |
| 2) Love bombing | Daily messages, fast intimacy, mirroring your interests, “I’ve never felt this way” | Trust and routine | Slow it down. Ask for a real-time video call and a specific, verifiable detail. |
| 3) Private channels | “Let’s talk on WhatsApp/Telegram/Signal.” “Don’t tell anyone yet.” | Control and privacy | If someone pushes you off-platform quickly, treat it as a red flag. |
| 4) Building credibility | A “job” story (military, oil rig, entrepreneur), polished photos, voice notes, even AI-assisted video | Believability | Verify independently. Reverse image search photos. Watch for inconsistencies. |
| 5) A financial request | A “small” emergency, a plane ticket, a crypto opportunity, “help me unlock my account,” gift cards, payment app request | Money or financial access | Never send money to someone you haven’t met. Never share financial info or account details. |
| 6) Escalation | “I need a verification code.” “Can you receive money for me?” “Open an account.” “Co-sign.” | Identity theft, account takeover, new credit | Never share MFA codes. Don’t open accounts for anyone. Lock credit if you’ve shared info. |
| 7) Ghosting | Ghosting, deleted accounts, new persona, rinse-and-repeat | Exit before consequences hit them | Preserve evidence, report, and secure your accounts immediately. |
Key point: the scariest scams may never send you a sketchy link. They may only send convincing words, and the pressure to act.
Watch out for AI.
AI reduces the “tells” that used to give scammers away. Deepfake audio and video can make someone appear real-time credible. Bot-driven chat can sound polished, attentive, and emotionally responsive.
People who discovered they were dealing with a bot or fake profile said the biggest clues were:
- Responses felt scripted or repetitive (52%)
- They replied instantly and flawlessly (41%)
- Photos looked unnatural or AI-generated (38%)
- They avoided voice/video calls (32%)
- They made unusual requests early (26%)
The important point is: a smooth conversation is not proof of authenticity. It may be proof of automation.
What to do if you think you’re involved in a romance scam
If you’re reading this and feeling that slow stomach-drop of recognition, the priority is to protect yourself before the situation escalates.
1) Stop sending money and stop sharing information
No more payments. No more screenshots. No more “verification” codes. No more personal details.
If you’ve already shared sensitive info, don’t panic, but act quickly.
2) Document everything
Take screenshots. Save usernames, phone numbers, email addresses, payment handles, transaction confirmations, and any images they sent. If the account disappears, this may be all you have.
3) Lock down your accounts
- Change passwords for email, banking, and the platform where you met them
- Turn on multi-factor authentication (MFA) everywhere
- If you reused passwords anywhere, change those too
4) Check your financial exposure
Romance scams often lead to identity misuse: new accounts, fraudulent applications, or attempts to access your credit.
If you’ve shared identifying details (full name, address, DOB, SSN, photos of documents), consider a protective step that blocks new credit from being opened in your name. McAfee’s Credit Monitoring and Identity Monitoring can help regain security.
5) Reduce your public data footprint
Scammers don’t just use what you tell them. They use what they can look up.
Your phone number, address, relatives, old accounts, and leaked details can be stitched together to make impersonation easier and manipulation more convincing.
Unfriend the scammer on social platforms and tighten your account privacy. Consider options like McAfee’s Personal Data Cleanup
6) Report it
Report the account on the platform or app where you met. In the U.S., you can also report romance scams to the FTC.
If you sent money, notify your bank/payment provider immediately.
The takeaway:
Romance scams work because they feel real. They exploit trust, vulnerability, and the very human desire for connection, especially in digital spaces where so much of our social and romantic lives now take place.
If you recognize pieces of your own experience in Jules’s story or the research here, you are not alone, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. These scams are designed to be convincing, and anyone can be targeted.
Protections like McAfee’s Scam Detector are built to catch risky messages across text, email, and social channels, adding an extra layer of defense while you focus on building genuine connections.
Awareness, support, and protection go a long way, and help is available when you need it.
The post 1 in 7 Lose Money to Romance Scams. Spot the Red Flags: appeared first on McAfee Blog.
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